the man tries to escape his visions
at least at first
but they are inescapable
when he senses one coming he tries to avoid it
but the epiphany is inexorable
after he has seen the vision
his perceptions return to normal
until the next one
the cycle intensifies
and reinforces his search for answers
and the depth of his delusional state
one of his rituals
involves cutting out passages
or sentences of religious materials
pamphlets or tracts
those passages that he views as profound
he then tapes them in his room on the mirror
maybe on the wall
someplace where he always sees them
the most important ones
he tattoos them
he self-tattoos the words and phrases
he self-tattoos words, phrases
various sayings
that he finds especially profound
he's constructed a full-scale crucifix on his wall
complete with a mannequin of christ
it's impaled
on a cross with sharp icepick-like spikes
with sharp icepick spikes
finally he decides his fate
he removes the mannequin
standing on a chair
he carefully places his hands in the proper position
he carefully calculates where best to place his feet
he throws himself against the wall
into his madness
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